You never expect the last time you see someone to be the actual last time. I had a friend, not a close friend, but a friend nonetheless. I always wanted to get closer to him, but I’ve always been an incredibly awkward person, so I just never tried. Time went by and in freshman year he was even in some of my classes so we talked and became slightly closer friends.
He was funny and we shared a sense of humor and I never left talking to him upset. But I never got really close to him. I saw him one last time, on the road I live on. I wanted to say hi but the idea scared me too much so I just didn’t. I didn’t know that was the last time I was going to see him before I attended his memorial about a month later.
It turns out he lived right near me, turns out we had more in common than I ever thought. I never made the attempt to become a close friend of his when I had the chance, and it’s a regret that has haunted me ever since. It’s easy to think that me saying hi that one day would have changed anything, even though it likely wouldn’t have, but it would have given me closure. It’s odd, knowing that the last time I saw him he didn’t even know I was there.
Fact of the matter is, I not only lost a friend, but I realized I had missed multiple opportunities to really get to know one of the coolest people I have ever met. He was an amazing person and even with my limited interaction with him I remember him as someone who was always trying to be a good person. He wasn’t perfect, and he didn’t try to be, but he did his best to earn the friendship he had.
Now I sit wishing I would have said hi to him when he passed me. I wish before that day I said hi a lot more. I wish that I would have made more jokes, tried to hear more of his. Now it’s too late. Now he’s gone and in our friend group the void is constantly there. Since the day we all got together and mourned his loss and celebrated his life I have tried my best to live in the moment and take charge rather than putting off opportunities. Never put off opportunities, you never know when you’ll run out of chances.