When I was in third grade, I was bullied because of the color of my skin. I remember having a group of close friends who were Mexican, mixed, and White. It was later in the year when they would say things about my skin, and that I would never be smart due to the different tone. They started to leave me out of things and not talk to me. I remember being confused as to why that would be happening because to me, they were my best friends. To them, I was just a pet, and they could say or do whatever they wanted, knowing I wouldn’t say anything back. 

     In one of my classes the teacher had the walls covered in owls. I wore this owl shirt once and the teacher, my classmates, and I made light-hearted comments and jokes about my shirt and the room. After that, I wore the owl shirt all the time because it made me feel like I was included amongst my peers.

     It was around summer when I was at a birthday party with one of my best friends and she made fun of what I was wearing. She said it was a ‘diarrhea jacket’ and that it looked ‘stupid.’ I never wore that jacket again. By this point I started to feel very dis included and very separate from my friends.

     When I got to fourth grade, all I could ask myself was, ‘What if I get bullied again?’ and I kind of did. That year, I got picked on more about the style of my hair, the way I acted, or things that I ate because it matched silly stereotypes that were associated with my race. And because of this, I was in a lonely place, making me scared of what people had to say about me. 

     Because of these incidents, I started to develop a lot of social anxiety. I went from the kid who talked all the time and with everyone to the quiet kid to whom everyone would say, ‘Wait, you talk?’

     Despite this, I started to get close to one of the kids in my group of friends who didn’t pick on me, and his name was Ethan. I hung out with him and his mom every day. We’d do things like play “Fantastic Gymnastics,” “Mario Kart,” paint, roll around on the couch, make food, and eat. These two people became a huge part of my childhood and made me realize that for every bad person in the world, there are just as many good ones. They moved away that summer, and I was never able to see them again, but because of them and those experiences I learned that there are truly kind people in the world.

     Since then, I’ve made it my job to make people feel comfortable around me and feel like they can tell me everything, but being hyper focused on other people’s feelings, I haven’t noticed my own. I take it personally when people say that I’m rude or that I don’t pay attention because I’ve always tried my best. However, as I grow older, I remind myself that it’s okay not to ‘fit in’ because they’ll always be people to connect with and be yourself with.

When and How to help

When you see movies it’s mostly teenagers getting bullied or maybe middle schoolers, which does happen a lot, but bullying can happen at any age—even preschoolers. The Hechinger Report says, when preschoolers get bullied, because of their age, they are more likely to become depressed and that depression can carry through their late childhood. There are differences from getting bullied and healthy conflict, though. Healthy conflict is feeling left out, having disagreements and arguing, but bullying is unwanted aggressive behavior, power imbalances and repetition. There are four steps you can take to help the child get through the bullying:

• Ask if something is wrong

If you see your child acting different you can ask if something is wrong and if you can help

• Recognize the problem

Figure out what the problem is and why it’s happening

• Help them with how to deal with it

You can teach your kid that it’s healthy and that it’ll be okay.

• Tell the school

Let the school know what is happening with your kid