Let’s Have the Talk

The absence of the talk with parents, in schools, and in entertainment is affecting how people perceive sexual relationships

“Why didn’t you write me,” Allie, from “The Notebook,” yells into the pouring rain. “It wasn’t over for me,” she states almost about to cry. When it seems they are about to call it off for good, Duke screams back, “I did write you,” and then he grabs her by the waist and pulls her in for a kiss. No talk of consent, no asking first. This is how many movies and TV shows in today’s climate show any kind of romantic relationship. However, in the real world, the kiss, the advance, the push onto the bed might be unwanted and could be seen as sexual assault.

There needs to be a change among our parents, schools and in Hollywood’s movies and TV shows to teach people of consent.

Consent is the main way to know if the sexual contact is unwanted. Consent, is the act of asking for permission to do something, and it is the difference between thinking that you aren’t sexually assaulting someone and knowing.The lack of talking about what consent is and what it actually means, mixed with Hollywood’s twisted idea of romance has created a perfect climate for sexual assault to occur.

According to a poll done by Planned Parenthood, around eighty two percent of parents have had a sex talk with their child. However only seventy four percent of  parents talk about how to say no, and only sixty percent are talking about forms of protection. Fifty Four percent of parents said they are uncomfortable talking about sex to their young adults. This leaves a majority of young adults with no talk of consent, as a majority of states do not require it, according to the Center for America .

Parents need to talk to their young adults about consent- about what it means and how to properly get consent. They need to discuss with their children about how to talk with their partner before sex and what exactly should be talked about.

In the United states, only twenty four states and the District of Columbia mandate that young adults have

sex education. According to the Center for American progress only 10 of these states require teaching about consent. Covering consent in school is an important step because some young adults may not fully understand what their parents are talking about, and putting it in a new perspective can help them fully understand the idea of consent. We need to put proper sex education in schools because, let’s face it, not every school has a Bornheimer who can still effectively teach sexual education with all of the states requirements and restrictions.

Parents and schools working together to teach young adults about consent can help lessen the threat of sexual assault, but the idea of what sex should look like is left up to the impression set by Hollywood. Movies and TV shows need to show how the talks of consent and protection should be done.Instead of leaving this part off screen, showing the talk will help influence viewers to also talk to their partners before sex. Before the characters are shown kissing, touching, and pushing each other into walls there needs to be some kind of talk between the two.

    While it doesn’t seem like a lot can be done to change what Hollywood produces, in the last year a big change has already been made by pressure set by consumers. An example of a change made by consumers is when pressure was put on Hollywood about its representation of minorities. Many movie makers are now bringing in more minorities to the script, and big strides have been made to not depict minorities in a negative light. Consumers could apply this same pressure to Hollywood now to make them become more aware of the message that their sex scenes have on young adults.

    As a society we can no longer allow people to be sexually assaulted. We need to change the way sex and romantic relationships are shown on screen, we must offer better sex education in our schools and parents need to actually talk to their young ones about sex. This is what will  make a change.