At 12 years old, Erin Bledsoe mailed letter after letter to the court, hoping that each one would change the outcome. She was trying to be adopted by her sister and brother-in-law, Brittany and Jayce Gonzales. Eventually, the court gave them legal guardianship of Bledsoe, but did not allow them to adopt her.

     “I was old enough at the time [that] my voice should have mattered, but it was easier for them not to listen to me because guardianship was a quicker route, less complicated, and they didn’t have to worry about taking away parental rights,” said Bledsoe.

     Legal guardianship is a less permanent solution that does not strip parental rights from the biological parents, and also allows the parents the opportunity to plead their case for guardianship on an annual basis. Bledsoe has actually experienced something very similar before. At four years old, she was placed with her then 23-year-old sister, Brittany Gonzales. However, Bledsoe’s parents would soon meet the minimum requirements to take her back into their custody. This was an action that Brittany Gonzales strongly disagreed with, and looking back, one that Bledsoe disagrees with as well.

     “They got back temporary custody,” said Brittany Gonzales. “There was supposed to be a court date, but then I got a phone call that said [that] they just left Missouri.”

     Bledsoe’s biological parents moved out of California with her, throwing a wrench in the legal proceedings that were supposed to take place. This sudden change caught Brittany Gonzales completely by surprise.

     “I didn’t get to say goodbye to her. I was under the impression [that] the case was still open,” said Brittany Gonzales.

     While frustrated with the parents, Bledsoe expressed her discontent with the system itself.

     “I don’t think I ever should have gone back,” said Bledsoe. “It wasn’t even necessarily legal what my parents did, because I don’t think I was fully out of the CPS system or the foster care system yet, but I was given back to my parents for custody. We were still supposed to have check-ins. But then my parents just got up and left.”

     After Bledsoe moved to Missouri, it would be another seven years before she came into Brittany Gonzales’ care again. In that time, Bledsoe would attend six schools and would not receive services from CPS or the foster care system until age 11. On top of that, she would be prevented from maintaining contact with her older sister, who was shut out from Bledsoe’s life.

     “People called throughout the years between her being four and eleven. There would be family members that called and said, ‘hey, we just want to let you know [that] we filed a report, so you might want to reach out,’” said Brittany Gonzales. “And it took from four to eleven years old for the system to actually go check on her.”

     Finally, in the spring of 2022, Bledsoe was able to reengage in communication with her sister, who had recently married Jayce Gonzalez. The two had been preparing for the possibility that Bledsoe would come into their care again.

      “I knew there [was] always a chance. Until she’s eighteen, she’s going to need me. And if she needs me, she’s coming.” Brittany Gonzales said. “So I told Jayce, if you can’t handle that, it was nice to meet you.”

     In August of 2022, after much deliberation and legal debate, Bledsoe came to stay with her sister and brother-in-law. However, when she arrived, Brittany and Jayce Gonzales were appalled at what she arrived with.

     “We got her here and she’s got five socks, not five pairs, but five socks; and clothes that don’t really fit her,” said Jayce Gonzales. “And we’re like, let’s go to Marshalls. We literally piled up the entire cart full of clothes and shoes. She was trying on the clothes, and I looked at Brittany and said, ‘I don’t care if she wears twenty-five percent of this. She came with five socks. She’s going to have as much clothes as she needs right now.’”

     Prior to coming to Albany, Bledsoe had been staying with a foster family in Missouri. At first, the family seemed like a great short-term solution, but complications arose.

     “There were pictures of her out in the snow without gloves, just wearing gardening gloves,” said Jayce Gonzales. “So they were getting stipends to take care of her, but they’re focusing on getting a cruise and paying their rent instead.”

     Beyond just the physical remnants of the turbulence that Bledsoe went through, there were also many emotional and mental scars. Brittany and Jayce Gonzales noticed a lot of these scars when she came to them.

     “She was actually kind of emotionally shut down. She just didn’t show anything. It was very cold and clear. I think it was just her trying to feel where she was,” said Jayce Gonzales. “Developmentally, we didn’t necessarily know all the intricate details of what happened to her, and she didn’t talk about it. That was probably the hardest thing; trying to get a feel and set ground rules, like basic fundamentals, behaviors, and habits.”

     There were many lessons that Bledsoe learned for the first time when she came into Brittany and Jayce Gonzales’ house. 

     “When I first came, my thoughts of right and wrong were a lot different than the traditional kids, because my parents never taught me what was right and wrong. I just kind of learned from them, and they weren’t necessarily ‘right’ people,” said Bledsoe.

     After spending a year with her sister and brother-in-law, Bledsoe welcomed a new member of her family: her now 2-year-old ‘brephew’, Alex Gonzales. Though her nephew by blood, Bledsoe loves him like her brother. However, Bledsoe struggled to decide what title she should be called by Alex.

     “I almost wanted him to call me sissy like sister. But then I thought it would be weird for him to hear me call his mother sister,” said Bledsoe. “He has a few real aunts, and then he has people whom he’ll call aunt. And it’s kind of weird sometimes, because I know that I’m more special to him than most of them are. But we have the same title…and sometimes I wish I’d had him call me sister.”

      In the end, Bledsoe and her family didn’t focus too much on titles. They are an unconventional family, but they are still just a family. Brittany Gonzales is just thankful they are all together.

     “Really, my sister gets to be part of my son’s life while we also get to be with her,” said Gonzales.