People have different interpretations of what it means to be a man, and everyone might visualize something different when they think of one. Over time, I’ve come to believe that being a man isn’t about what you look like but who you are as a person.
Growing up, I believed that being a man was something that we had to strive towards, and something you could see based on appearance. Whenever I would do something that didn’t fit my image of masculinity, I would keep it to myself and not tell others.
I spend a lot of time watching anime, whether it’s romance, shonen, or seinen. I didn’t see it as something manly or masculine, so when people would ask me what I did outside of school, I would just brush them off and say I played video games like a normal guy. I wanted to have something unique to me that was masculine, and I could tell others I am into.
Late into my sophomore year, around April, I decided that I would start to watch the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship), an MMA (mixed martial arts) promotion company. I looked up what the next fights were and found out that UFC 300 was that weekend. After watching the event, I realized that I really do like the sport. What started as a sport that I watched to feel included ended as me finding something I did enjoy.
Next Monday, I went around asking people if they watched the event and found a connection through the event. For once, I wasn’t ashamed of sharing about something I watched, something masculine I watched.
Over the summer before senior year, I watched a boxing anime called Hajime no Ippo. Watching the characters push themselves inspired me to do the same. I started going to the gym around early August to become a bodybuilder. I wasn’t trying to seem masculine for others but was focused on improving myself. The time in the gym has helped me in ways other than I had thought. I learned discipline and what it’s like to work hard towards a goal that I set for myself.
As time has passed and I’ve grown older, I’ve experienced more, and my views have greatly changed. I think that people are like rocks in a river, shaped and polished over time through experience. We become smoother and stronger as life passes by and we endure hardships. Staying still is the only thing that keeps us from growing.
Our interests don’t define who we are as people, and they can’t take away from our character. Being a man isn’t about pushing back tears or putting up a tough front; it’s about what drives a person that defines them. Being a man is about making changes to become someone better than they were before, through constant improvement.
In high school, it’s especially important to know what type of person we are and to know who we are becoming. Everyone can change, and even if someone isn’t moving towards the person they want to be, they can still make changes, small, gradual changes.
