The story will contain themes of suicide and self harm. If you have thought of bodily harm or suicide, please contact 988.

    Some days I wonder if people know that I can hear what they are saying. Shoving, yelling, cussing, rumoring, and fighting are all things I hear or see in the hallway that affect my day. When I’m walking from class to class, there are a lot of conversations that I see and hear that go over my head; but there are some things that are hard to ignore, especially if it’s something that can impact you or someone you know. I hear comments that are racist, sexist, and personal. Unlike some people, when I hear harsh words, it can change how my day goes.

     I remember one time back in eighth grade, I heard someone mention their suicidal thoughts, as well as a friend of mine mention cutting themselves. I didn’t know how to handle the situation. I knew one person was already getting help; however it was still hard to process, and I kept all of that emotion to myself. As someone who struggles with anxiety and depression, the weight of the emotion started to build up.

      After a couple of days, we had a school dance. Between the bright lights and loud music, I began to get stressed out. My mind was racing, it was hard to breathe, and I knew at that moment, it was a panic attack. I felt so embarrassed, but knowing that my friends were there to help, not make fun of me, was very helpful.

     I explained the situation to my therapist, although I still wasn’t able to share the full story. I am still haunted by not doing or saying anything

    For me, when I hear something bad in the hallways, it’s now easier to share it. For others out there who experience this, I want them to know they are not alone. Keeping it in can make things worse, when the thoughts have nowhere to go. Talking to a trusted person about the situation can help relieve that stress in knowing that you are, and that person is, safe and cared for.  With a perspective, I’m Aubrey Troxel.